Ms. cripchick writes about Independence Day and mentions that her mother and grandmother stay home, “[not] for political reasons—more of not connecting with the holiday or feeling like it’s theirs” and it struck me.

This day to celebrate our country and all its inhabitants — to a good lot of those inhabitants, this day doesn’t feel like it’s theirs. This day is for someone else, not for me.

And the sentiment is pretty widespread when you think about it. It applies to all groups.

To a poor child: college is for someone else, not for me.

To a person living with an abusive partner or family member, who has never seen someone they know personally ever have anything better: respect for my dignity and autonomy is for someone else, not for me.

To the little girl in school: complicated mathetmatics and science are for someone else, not for me.

To the child of color, or child with a visible disability, who sees advertisements everywhere (for toothpaste, for breakfast cereal, for universities, for bank services) with skinny white people with perfect teeth and “good” hair: society in general is made for someone else, not for me.

When we structure our society this way, we may not be saying explicitly, this is Not For You. But those people get the message — loud and clear.