So, remember my shower chair that broke over the summer? After a couple orders canceled by the sellers (the chair I wanted was not available from its manufacturer, despite every seller and their cat continuing to list it as available/in-stock) and a few months of waiting for the spare cash to come in, I finally ordered a new one, the “Drive Deluxe Bariatric Chair With Back.” It came in Monday while I was at work, and I was excited enough about it that I was seriously jonesing for a shower just to try it out.

Having given it a couple test drives by now, I feel pretty comfortable recommending it. It’s extremely comfortable, especially with the sturdy back (I specifically avoided chairs with snap-in plastic backs), which gives a chance to rest not only to my legs but to my core and upper back. And it adjusts pretty damn high, if you want it there (I love it there) — it also stays lower if you are so inclined. All I had to do to “assemble” the chair was to connect the back. (The box was very big, but also very light.) The only problem is the space it takes up; you can’t move around it in a normal sized bath tub (whereas you could at least safely step over my old backless chair), and it doesn’t fold up and hide away, meaning it stays in the bathtub permanently. Sorry, hubby.

I also have to give my good word for Metro Medical, the site from which I ordered. It had the best price on the chair out of sites that had an actual rating on the main price-comparison sites (froogle etc.) and free shipping — which, even with a delay (2-3 business days to order the chair from the manufacturer, as they had none in the warehouse) took all of a week to get here. The site is pretty well-designed (including much more detailed information than most sites will give on a product), has decently wide selection, and checkout was a breeze. All in all, an A+ experience.

And now it’s not nearly so hard on me to take a shower. And I get to have my first purchase with the word “bariatric” in the title. ;)

How can you not?

by Cary Leibowitz

via Cara on Tumblr.

It is hard for me to commit my energy to this job and also maintain a life. A friend asked why he never saw me comment on Feministe anymore, and my answer simply is that I don’t have much time and energy left over. The good news is that I am doing well. I feel healthy. The balance is just a bit off.

But that’s ok, ’cause the job ends in two months anyhow.

Writing is an effort for me. But I have been reading, and you can keep up with me two ways: my Google Reader shared items feed (which has always been over there on my right sidebar, and is updated continually, if a bit behind) and my Tumblr blog, where I collect quotes and links and so forth. I am making good progress on my DC photos, and hope to upgrade my Flickr account so I can post them as well as the day-to-day photography I do, so keep an eye out for that, if you have an eye for that sort of thing.

I miss the communities I’ve been involved in. But I have been slowly and steadily finding my footing, and I am happy with what I am building; even if it looks ramble shamble to an outsider, it’s mine, and it’s working for me. I can’t help but love that.

Sissie quit taking her Insulin and went into almost a coma, she is so stupid, she said the Insulin was making her fat, so she quit.

Sigh.

I felt a sense of wonder for the first in a long time.

I went digging through my drafts just now, and I stumbled upon this fragment — all I had saved of a small sketch I was working on.

It is fitting that I would wake myself early and haul my tired fat deposits out the door for a doctor appointment that is scheduled, actually, for tomorrow. So I found myself outside a little after nine in the morning, all dressed up (in jeans, dirty worn men’s sandals, bed hair, and an oversized Penguins hoodie) and nowhere to go.

It was, as I recounted to my husband, cool and quiet and full of yet-to-be. There was a grey cover on the skies and a touch of misting here and there. The roads yawned wide and empty. Light was diffuse but intense. The clock tower at the courthouse

The next morning, I found out. About it. And instantly my world came crashing down… the world I had only just finished rebuilding.

The day before.

I have to get back into this. I have to push myself. I’ll never get it back if I don’t. I’ll never get my life back. And, God, I want it back — please. I’m almost there. We’re almost there. We’ve been working hard. I’m only just starting to feel it. Please, this time, let me wake up not to a creation crumbling around me, but to a potential I can fill.

There is no thing in life I want more. I want what I had — but it was flawed. And I understand now: I don’t just want to keep it and correct its wrongs. I want, instead, to make something, something new, something better, something stronger. That space, that potential never realized. I see it now. I want to fill it.

Please.