Monday, January 25, the Pittsburgh Penguins met the New York Rangers at Madison Square Gardens. My boyfriend Marc-Andre Fleury, who sat out several games with a broken finger, was back in net for the first time since the injury. I was all set to marvel at the sexy athleticism on the Penguins’ side when I realized that opposite Fleury, all bedecked in catching gloves and giant leg pads stood… Rangers goalie Henrik Lundqvist.

Well, I’ll get to Lundvqist later. But because today is my twenty-fourth birthday, I thought I would share with you the hotness that is Marc-Andre Fleury!

Beware: extremely image-heavy below the cut.

I am quite fond of the pharmaceuticals I keep organized in my nightstand drawer. But I have to be careful not to drop them, so that the cats don’t find them and try to eat them.

But now, there’s a pill I can drop on the floor and let my kitty chew on all he wants! And if he tires of that, he can roll the bottle cap around the kitchen floor for awhile.

(A screenshot of the Etsy page for a pill-shaped cat toy. Several pictures are shown of a long-haired ginger tabby cat enjoying the catnip-filled, half-red half-blue felt toy, and the plastic orange pharmacy bottle with a prescription label reading “Catatonica.”)

The item description:

These jumbo pills contain a healthy dose of extra strength cat nip – just what the good doctor ordered.

Each pill measures approximately 3″ long and each vial contains two.

So get to the pharmacy STAT! You’ll want to make sure you have plenty of “mothers little helpers” on hand.

DOSAGE:
Take one down, bat it around, kitty is sure to have a ball.

POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS:
Temporary ants-in-the-pants followed by extreme drowsiness. Increased appetite not uncommon.

Only $8! I spend way more than that on my human medications. Check out kgrantdesign’s shop for more deliciously cute kitty toys. Next up: fried eggs and bacon.

(Cross-posted at FWD/Forward.)

I have been having a total shit week, very busy with doctor’s appointments and dealing with some extra-special obstructive, discriminatory shit at work, so I haven’t been up for anything that requires engagement. Just mindless reading. But I can always count on the Penguins to cheer me up.

Marc Andre Fleury made the most ridiculous save against the Philadelphia Flyers last night:

This is why he’s my boyfriend. And also why my husband doesn’t mind.

I feel like a five-year-old who just got teleported into Disneyland for the first time. I start bouncing up and down giddily and crying do it again! do it again!!

Philadelphia’s Jeff Carter rushes to the net and makes a shot, which Marc-Andre Fleury thinks he has frozen but ends up coming out for a juicy rebound. Philadelphia’s Daniel Briere works in front of the net trying to chip the puck in, and Fleury falls on his side reaching to stop the puck just outside his crease. Briere makes one last attempt, trying to chip the puck over the body of Fleury, and Fleury, still lying on his side, rolls on his back and curls up just enough to grab the puck out of the air with his glove, legs in the air, rather like a turtle on his back…

Paul Steiggerwald: — good save by Fleury — the rebound, loose around the net, Fleury can’t corrall it — OH! makes a good glove save on a puck that was going over his body and into the net off the stick of Daniel Briere.

Bob Errey: Absolutely sick save by Marc-Andre Fleury, laying on his right side, and Briere thought he had himself when he chipped it, but Fleury somehow got the glove reaching back! …

Guess what you get today? Video! Previously Buddy was featured finding creative ways to share my tea: one and two.

This is the game Mitsy plays with me when I sit at my desk. I’ll touch her on the front side, then reach around to a spot of fur poking out under the shelf in the back, and she flops and rolls around feigning great surprise and indignation, mewing at me — then flopping back around and staring expectantly for me to continue. This goes on til my arm gets tired reaching up, and she’ll keep rolling and flopping for some time, staring down and meowing at me.

And pictures.

Mitsy cuddling on my lap.

Both of them on my desk, stirring up trouble.

Buddy is a big huge bully. Often he will fight his sister out of whatever spot she occupies — on the wide open floor, in a box, on a chair, or in this case, on top of my desk — and either take over, or just wander off. Bully, I tell you.

I survived the lumpectomy. There is some pain, but I’m used to that. Right now I’m just curious to see how it is once the breast has healed. It looks like my surgeon did an excellent job; actually not much externally-visible change in the breast, and he made sure to make the incision far enough back to (most likely) preserve the ability to breastfeed later. (There is some question whether I’ll be able to just due to the pain and sensitivity, but I didn’t want to kill my chances before I could even try.)

Have some kitty pictures.

Buddy makes a mess on my desk.

One of his favorite toys is my nail file. Yes, I know. If I can’t sit there and play with him (giving him the blunted handle end, not the tip) I have to hide it, because he finds it every damn time. Why he can’t just play with the stuff that’s meant to be a cat toy, I don’t know — he prefers nail files, twist ties and hair bands.

The cats helped me paint a couple of frames for the cyanotypes we made on our May vacation.

And then they took a break.

Buddy may have been better named Dusty.

You thought I was going to forget, didn’t you?

Buddy has taken a liking to a shoe box I threw on the floor one day while digging through my closet. He really, really doesn’t fit. It’s buckling out at the sides and from the top, it looks square — despite being a normally-constructed oblong shoe box. But this is my 14lb kitty who’s actually too thin for his skeletal frame, so he fills it out pretty well.

I think he looks like a bit of a cat-box-boat. Sailing the linty red seas.

I’m having a hard time settling in without fazing out and completely losing cognition. What else to do but turn to youtube?

MOON SHOE IT UP!

Second, here’s Billy Mays (RIP) going through the drive-through at McDonalds.

(I’ve heard that (surprise, surprise) the morning radio show people this is associated with are assholes, and I’m sure they are, given that it’s pretty much a requirement in the genre. Fortunately, they don’t appear to have part in this video — it’s all Billy.)

What’s been cheering you up this week?

(Cross-posted at Feministe.)

This box is something I’ve had for probably 7-8 years. This cat is something I’ve had for three. The bottom of the box should have an inscription: Any resemblance to actual cats is purely coincidental.

This one is pulled up from the archives. Buddy has some Chair Time.

You know the Microsoft Minute?

A unit of time whose literal length is constantly changing due to rapid miscalculations of a computer wielding an operating system developed by Microsoft (i.e. Windows 95).

My husband had the brilliant idea to apply it to me and my various disabilities: the Manda Minute. To wit, “We’ll be out the door in five minutes!” will probably mean twenty, but it will change constantly as time progresses, and could end up being only eight minutes, or even — thought very rarely — two.

I try to be as honest as I can about time estimates, but there are so many fluctuating considerations and variables that it’s almost impossible to know for sure. I overestimate as it is, but chronic overestimation makes guessing useless anyway — if I say twenty minutes when it’s actually going to be five, what good am I doing anyone? and I’m going to be screwing with the medicine I have to plan out, the periods of activity and rest, and so forth.

Welcome to my life.